Sunday 4 October 2009

I HATE IKEA!

Basically... What the tittle says.

*****

So this all started on the 28th.
My Oyster card was due to expire on the 30th but the good people at TFL decided to make it expire on the 29th mid journey. I said good people for a reason.

So I'm in Brixton now thinking

"How the f do I get home!?"

So Ralph swuave had to get turned on.... Don't judge me... Yet.

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I had to blag it with the TFL man dem at Brixton. If you have used that station, you know how young and 'black' them man are so that was cool.

Check 1.

Check me out now. I'm in Tottenham Hale station now waiting for that free transport to IKEA but guess what... Didn't come. Par.

The 192 had to get twanged. Yeah I said it (Again, the driver was black)

But yeah, back to the point I was making... I hate IKEA. Dickhead ting.
Jew (yeah it's a new one!?), I don't know how you cope with crystal maze layout.

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I'm not the biggest guy. I'm not even the middle guy. IKEA are for big, foreign, preferably Lithuanian body builders (Yeah I said it).
I'm with TWO large up wardrobes, trying to get to Hatfield. Yeah yeah yeah... I'm still about. Luckily the travel didn't kill a a nicca.

IKEA ARE DICKHEADS! DON'T EVER FORGET IT!

They tried charging me £11.49 to deliver my ting tings that were only worth £20 each. I think it was because I'm black.
I said F that and was OFF!

Any piece of paper...


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Now to get home.
341 got blagged to Manor House! I had to bring out the oyster and explain the sitch and guess what... Yeah he was black.

And I was not on my way to collect my Giro.

SWEAR TO YOU! SOME YUTES DEM WANTED TO MOVE ME UP ON NORTHUMBERLAND PARK BUT IT LOOKED LIKE HEY FELT SORRY FOR ME! Sad.

I got off at question mark, RAN to get the 259, barring in mind I've NEVER head nor took these buses before and my back was on an Atlas vibe with what I as carrying. Geddit!?
So I'm on the 259 to Finsbury Park.

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Being with no internet and T.V has JEFFED ME! I didn't know Arsenal were playing.

ARGH!

Imagine trying to get Peter Couch to stand straight on a train....

These two had an interesting talk about how much of a bastard that tall fake Nigerian striker Arsenal sold to Man city is.


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Well the moral of this story is....

Black people are actually helpful when they want to be. 'Question whether I've fall off' or whatever Jay-Z said.



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